A while back in an interview, I was asked by Vaeflare if I had any Heroes of the Storm themed recipes in the works. I responded with this:

“I plan to write some recipes about the heroes themselves. How awesome would it be to take a bite out of Sergeant Hammer’s BFG missile?!” 

I finally sat down and created Sgt. Hammer’s smiley BFG missle… but in MEATLOAF FORM! Spreadin’ the loooove!

If you’re not familiar with Sgt. Hammer’s Heroic Ability, “BFG” or Blunt Force Gun, it’s basically a smiley missile that launches across the map.

KABOOM!

Now, this isn’t your ordinary meatloaf… This is a STUFFED meatloaf full of vegetables and cheesy goodness. It’ll explode with flavor!

This recipe has been kicked up with added protein in the form of crispy Quest Protein Chips!

UNIT COMPOSITION

1. salt
2. pepper
3. 1 teaspoon of worcestershire sauce
4. 2 teaspoons of smoked paprika
5. 2 tablespoons of smoked chipotle paste
6. 2 tablespoons of ketchup
7. 2 cloves of garlic, chopped
8. 5 mushrooms, chopped
9. 1/4 cup of broccoli, chopped
10. 1/4 of shredded pepper jack cheese
11. 1 onion, 1/2 chopped and 1/2 left in reserve
12. 3-6 pitted black olives
13. 1 1/2 lb of lean ground beef (I used 90/10)
14. 2 bags of Quest BBQ Protein Chips
15. 1 red pepper

BUILD ORDER

Prep time for this recipe is about 35 minutes. Total cook time is roughly 1 hour 10 minutes. This makes ~5 servings.

Each serving contains: 34g of Protein, 16g of Fat and 2g of Net carbs.

OPENING

1. Set a small pan on high heat. Add in your olive oil.
2. Saute your chopped garlic, mushrooms and broccoli.
3. Let them cook for about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

MID GAME

1. In a large bowl, combine your worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, paprika and ground beef.
2. Crush 1 bag of protein chips and add it to the meat mixture. Add in 1 tablespoon of chipotle paste. Stir to combine.
   
3. Lay a large sheet of plastic wrap on a flat surface.
4. Put your meat mixture on top of the plastic wrap. Squish the meat against the plastic wrap to make it flat.
5. Place your sauteed vegetables on top of the flattened meat. Be sure to leave about an inch of room on each side. The ends will require about 2 – 3 inches of space.
   
6. Grab the edge of the plastic wrap and begin rolling the meatloaf on top of itself.
7. Place the meatloaf in a baking dish.

LATE GAME

1. Shape the meat into a “missle” shape — one side pointy, the other side flat.
2. Cut small wedges out of the red pepper. These will be the “fins” of the missle. Place them in a circular formation on the flat end of the meatloaf missle.
3. Mix your ketchup and chipotle paste. Spread this mixture over the pointed 1/2 of the missle.
4.  Cut a mouth and eyes out of your remaining piece of onion. Place them on to the meatloaf.
   
5. Slice pupils from your olives. Place them on top of the onion.
6. Crush your remaining bag of chips. Sprinkle them over the un-sauced portion of the meatloaf.
7. Cut an olive in half. Use a straw to poke a circular piece through the olive. These will be the rivets. Place them on the edge where the sauced portion touches the chip-coated portion.
8. Pre-heat you oven to 360° F. Cook the meatloaf for about 50 minutes – 1 hour, or until done.
9. Eat!

GG WP!

Now you’ll have a tasty and protein-packed meal that will keep you and your Heroes team fed.

It’s a very very smiley meatloaf…

See you in the Nexus, hero!

But make sure you duck — never know when that BFG is going to fire from across the map!

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This recipe was created with support from Quest Gaming. Follow them on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to learn more about how other gamers eat healthy and #CheatClean.

Selama Ashal’anore!

Everyone’s favorite vengeful Blood Elf mage, Kael’thas Sunstrider made his way into the Nexus a few months back. I’ve had a chance to play him several times in ranked, but honestly, I’m not super comfortable with his play style.

I’m more of a Jaina kind of gal (awwwwkward). However, Kael’thas is still a super fun hero to play! I mean, c’mon, FREE living bombs?! YOU GET A LIVING BOMB. AND YOU GET A LIVING BOMB. EVERYONE GETS A LIVING BOMB!

And it’s all thanks to those magical Verdant Spheres. Those Verdant Spheres are his signature accessory. A powerful fashion statement only worn by most haute blood mages!

I’ve immortalized these iconic artifacts in food form: edamame falafels! These falafels are packed full of nutrients which will surely keep you fueled during your quest for vengeance.

UNIT COMPOSITION

1. salt
2. pepper
3. 1 cup of tahini sauce*
4. 1 tablespoon of cumin
5. 1 tablespoon of coriander
6. 3 tablespoons of olive oil
7. 5 – 7 cloves of garlic, diced
8. 1/4 cup of cilantro, roughly chopped
9. 1/2 cup of parsley, roughly chopped
10. 1 1/2 cups of edamame, shelled
11. 1 onion, roughly diced
12. 2 jalapeños, diced

*To make homemade tahini sauce, combine: tahini paste, garlic, lemon juice, water and salt.

BUILD ORDER

Prep time for this recipe is roughly 15 minutes. Cook time is about 35 minutes. This makes about 3 servings (about 3 falafels each).

OPENING

1. Put your onion, edamame, onion, cilantro, 1 jalapeño, and 1/4 cup of parsley in a food processor.
2. Add in your salt, pepper, cumin, and coriander.
3. Drizzle in 2 tablespoons of olive oil and pulse to combine.
4. Continue until it forms a smooth paste.
5. Remove and set aside.

MID GAME

1. Set your oven to 375° F.
2. Line a pan or baking dish with parchment paper.
3. Using a spoon, scoop out golf ball sized balls of the falafel dough. Roughly shape them into a sphere and drop them onto the parchment paper. Use a butter knife to smooth out the balls.
4. Bake for 35 minutes or crispy. In order to keep them green, I decided not to flip them.

LATE GAME

1. Place tahini sauce, jalapeño pepper, 1 tablespoon of olive oil and your remaining parsley in a food processor.
2. Process until it’s a smooth paste.
3. Dip a spoon in the sauce and place the back of the spoon against a plate. Drag the spoon up and lift carefully to create a smear affect (or the flame for the verdant spheres).
4. Place one of the falafels on top of the sauce.
5. OPTIONAL: Sprinkle parsley over the plate.
6. Eat!

GG WP!

Now you can embrace AND eat the power of Verdant Spheres! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ GLORY TO THE SIN’DOREI! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

When I found out the Butcher was stomping his way into the Nexus, I was over joyed. Thankfully, the wait is over and you can now enjoy everyone’s favorite meat-crazed demon in Heroes of the Storm!

What a fitting mount! Let’s hope Billie doesn’t end up grilled after this game...

He’s one of the most memorable bosses from the Diablo series, and when I first started playing Diablo III, I thought the Act I fight against him was pretty awesome.

You basically run the risk of being completely engulfed in flames if you can’t kill him before his enrage timer.

Toasty!

You would think that since he’s always surrounded by fire, he’d be pretty good at barbecuing. Do you think they have BBQ competitions in Sanctuary and the Burning Hells? Hmmm…

Anyway, since I don’t have a BBQ grill, I decided to create a different type of meaty treat. It’s a spicy little meatloaf full of FRESH MEAT! VEGETABLES BAD. MEAT GOOD!

And because The Butcher lives in such a sizzling place, I decided to add a little heat with some fresh jalapeño peppers. Of course, that is only Torment I level spice… If you wanna bump it up to Torment VI, add in some habañero. But if you want to go to Torment X, I suggest you try getting your hands on some crushed Ghost Chili Peppers and some Trinidad Scorpion Chilies.

UNIT COMPOSITION

1. salt
2. pepper
3. 1 teaspoon of olive oil
4. 1 tablespoon of cumin
5. 2 tablespoons of worcestershire sauce
6. 1/2 cup of ketchup
7. 1 egg
8. 5 cloves of garlic, diced
9. 1 cup of bread crumbs
10. 1 onion diced
11. 1 bell pepper, diced
12. 2 jalapeño peppers, diced
13. 1 lb of chorizo, casing removed
14. 1 lb of bacon
15. 1 lb of ground lean beef (I used 90/10)

BUILD ORDER

Prep time for this recipe is about 45 minutes. Total cook time is 1 hour 10 minutes. This makes about 5 servings.

OPENING

1. Set a pan on medium heat and add in your olive oil.
2. Sweat your diced onions and garlic.
3. Remove and set aside. You’ll want them to cool before adding them to your meat mixture.

MID GAME

1. In a bowl, combine your chorizo and ground beef.
2. Season lightly with your salt, pepper and cumin. Since the chorizo is already spiced, you don’t need to add that much more seasoning.
3. Add in your worcestershire sauce and ketchup. Stir to combine.
4. Add in your egg and bread crumbs. Stir to combine.
5. Add in your diced bell pepper and jalapeño peppers and stir. You may have to use your hands at this point to make sure the mixture is thoroughly combined.

LATE GAME

1. Preheat your oven to 350°.
2. Line a baking sheet with foil. Remember, this dish has chorizo AND bacon, so there will be a A LOT of fat and oils! Make sure your dish is properly lined to reduce clean-up!
3. Pour your meat mixture onto the baking sheet and form it into a loaf.
   
4. Now comes the fun part: create a bacon weave over your meatloaf! If you don’t want to create a bacon weave, you can wrap the bacon around the meatloaf in any way you’d like.
   
5. Place the meatloaf in the oven and cook for 1 hour and 10 minutes, or until the internal temperature hits 160°.
6. Let rest for 5 minutes.
7. Eat!

GG WP!

Now you’re ready to serve this meaty meal to your fellow Nephalems in Sanctuary or your team of Heroes in the Nexus! Just make sure you don’t let Tyrael get to this… You know how he is about eating.

“Being a mortal is very complicated”

Aww yes….FRESH MEAT.

See you in the Eternal Conflict!

A few weekends ago, Heroes of the Dorm tournament was broadcast live across the nation on ESPN2. This was a gigantic leap forward for eSports, especially for the collegiate scene. Despite all the praise and admiration, there are still doubts on whether or not eSports deserves a spot on cable TV. Some people just need a lot of convincing!

Considering my background, I assume you already know what my thoughts are on eSports and the Collegiate eSports scene. eSports4Lyfe.

However, the most important thing to take away is that Artosis sparked a brand new meme… GOING HAM ON THE CORE!

Though ASU could not snatch the win from UC Berkeley, they will be forever remembered as going HAM ON THE CORE.

In honor of monumental moment in eSports history, I present to you a delicious and pork-tastic treat: HAM on the core ham!

UNIT COMPOSITION 

1. salt
2. 3 tablespoons of apple butter
3. 1 cup of apple cider vinegar
4. 1 teaspoon of cloves
5. 1 teaspoon of mustard seeds
6. 2 teaspoons of cinnamon
7. 1 tablespoon of ginger, grated (I used a microplane for this)
8. 1/2 yellow onion, diced
9. 2 granny smith apples, cubed
10. 1 mango, cupped
11. 1 2lb smoked ham
12. OPTIONAL: 1/2 tablespoon of agave nectar

BUILD ORDER

This recipe takes about 30 minutes to prep. Total cook time is 45 minutes. This will make 4 servings.

OPENING

1. Pre-heat your oven to 365° F.
2. Add in 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar to your apple butter. Stir to combine. Season with salt.
3. Baste the ham with the apple butter and vinegar mixture.
4. Roast in the oven for 45 minutes. During this time, prepare your mango chutney.

MID GAME

1. Set a pot on medium heat.
2. Add in your onions, apples, apple cider vinegar, cloves, ginger, cinnamon and mustard seeds.
3. Allow the chutney to cook for about 30 minutes.

LATE GAME

1. After 30 minutes, remove the  chutney from the heat.
2. Add in the cubed mango. Add in agave nectar if you want the chutney to be sweeter.
3. Remove the ham from the oven. Allow it to cool for about 5 minutes (the glaze will still be very hot).
4. Serve with the chutney.
5. Eat!

GG WP!

Now, at this point, you have a few plating options…

PUT A SLICE OF HAM ON SOME APPLE CORES. HAM ON THE CORE!

C’mon… You saw this coming…

Or rather, serve the ham like this:

 But realistically, the ham is served best on a platter with the chutney on the side:

Or, enjoy it with a few fellow heroes:

See you in the Nexus!

The Raven Lord demands tribute… in the form of tasty appetizers!

I have been playing a ton of Heroes of the Storm lately. I’ve been trying to climb the ladder to finally hit Rank 1. Recently, I have been fortunate enough snag Sylvanas in draft. AW YISS BANSHEE QUEEN.

I have no time for games!

I am totally loving Sylvanas’ play style. It’s an awesome feeling to be fighting someone and then throw out your “E” to teleport when the fight gets too rough.

One of the battlegrounds I enjoy playing is the Cursed Hollow. On this map, the goal is to collect three tributes for the malevolent Raven Lord. He’s totally a big jerk.

There’s usually a ton of fighting when these tributes pop up. And that’s what I absolutely love about this map — the team fights!

Hahaha, big head mode!

Since the Raven Lord demand tribute… We better start cooking!

UNIT COMPOSITION

1. salt
2. 2 tablespoons of butter
3. 4 – 5 cloves of garlic, grated
4. 1 egg, mixed
5. 1/3 cup of milk
6. 1/3 cup of shredded parmesan cheese
7. 1 lb of purple sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into quarters

BUILD ORDER

Prep time for this dish takes about 30 minutes. Cook time takes 20 minutes for boiling the potatoes, and an additional 12 minutes for baking. This makes 4 servings (about 8 tributes).

OPENING

1. After peeling and cutting your sweet potatoes, place them in a pot of large water.
2. Bring that pot of water to boil and cook the sweet potatoes for about 20 minutes or until soft. Then drain the sweet potatoes and return them to the pot.
3. Add in your salt, cheese, butter, garlic and milk. Use a potato masher to combine the ingredients.
   
4. Transfer the mashed sweet potatoes to a bowl.
5. Add in your egg and stir to combine.

MID GAME

1. Place the sweet potato mixture in a piping bag.
2. Lay a piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet.
3. Begin piping out the shape of the raven lord tributes. Start with an oval, and then a pointed tip for the beak.
   
4. Then, pipe out the wings.
   
5. Use a butter knife to smooth out the entire shape. Use the edge of the butter knife to create the eyes by gently pressing down at an angle.
6. Continue making the tributes until you run out of sweet potato mixture.

LATE GAME

1. Set your oven to 350° F.
2. Let your tributes bake for about 12 minutes. Remove and let cool.
3. Eat!

GG WP, Heroes!

Please note that eating three of these tributes will not cause the Raven Lord to curse your enemies. However, these are delicious and can satisfy a rumbling tummy. MY BELLY DEMANDS TRIBUTE.

By the way, I have set up a Patreon! I have been posting previews of upcoming blog post there, so if you’re interested, please check it out.

If you’ve had a chance to play the Garden of Terror map in Heroes of the Storm, you will completely understand the importance of eating your vegetables. LET ME IMPROVE YOUR WEAK FLESH! 

On the Garden of Terror map, players are encouraged to collect seeds by smacking Garden Shamblers and the Garden Terror.

Once your team collected 100 seeds, you can return to your base and summon your own GARDEN TERROR! When a player controls the Garden Terror, they are free to roam the map and cause havoc. Typically, what I try to do is run straight for the towers and start smacking away.

There’s just something so darn awesome about being a giant plant and rampaging across the map. ROOAAARRRRR.

However, one should not play Heroes on an empty stomach… So I’ve devised this recipe to curb your hunger while channeling your inner Hero of the Storm!

Since the seeds are key to success on this map, it seemed natural to recreate such an important feature in food.

UNIT COMPOSITION

1. salt
2. pepper
3. 1 teaspoon of olive oil
4. 1/2 tablespoon of worcestershire sauce
5. 5-6 cloves of garlic, diced
6. 1/4 lb of crimini mushrooms, diced
7. 2 roma tomatoes, seeds removed and diced
8. 1/3 lb of spinach
9. 1/3 lb of  ground turkey
10. 1 red cabbage

BUILD ORDER

Prep time is roughly 30 minutes. Total cook time is about 45 minutes. This will make 4 servings (about 2 each)

OPENING GAME

1. Set water to boil in a large pot.
2. Carefully peel the leaves from the red cabbage.
3. Place leaves in boiling water for about 6 minutes or until soft (the water will turn dark purple).
4. Remove and let cool.

MID GAME

1. Set a pan on high heat and add olive oil.
2. Add in your diced garlic. Let garlic brown. Then, add in your mushrooms and tomatoes. Saute for about 5 minutes.
3. Remove from heat and let cool for a few minutes.
4. In a bowl, combine your ground turkey, salt, pepper and worcesteshire sauce. Add in your sauted vegetables. Mix until combined.
5. Take a tablespoon of meat and place it in center of one of the cooked cabbage leaves. Then fold the edges of the cabbage leaf to create a pouch. Use a toothpick to hold the top together.

LATE GAME

1. Place the “seeds” on a baking dish and bake for 25 – 30 minutes at 375° F.
2. While the seeds are cooking, lightly boil your spinach. It will take about 2 minutes to cook.
3. Once the spinach has cooked, drain it and arrange it to form leaves on the plate.
4. Remove the seeds from the oven and place them on top of the spinach.
5. Eat!

And BOOM, you’re done! GG WP!

Hopefully you have made enough so you can share with your teammates:

I’ll see you in the Garden of Terror… But let’s hope you’re on my side! GOOD LUCK, HEROES!

Yaarrr, matey! Are ye after some edible treasures? Well, you’re just in luck because THAR BE TREASURE ON YOUR PLATE. Hahaha!

So you might have been wondering what has happened to little ol’ me for the past few months… I basically needed a hiatus. But don’t worry, I’m back with new tools (including a brand spankin’ new cutting board YES) and new recipes! This time, I’m writing a recipe about a newish, but unreleased game: Heroes of the Storm.

I was fortune enough to gain access to the Technical Alpha, so I messed around trying out various heroes. Considering my history with Blizzard games, it should be no surprise that Valla is typically my hero of choice. I even scored her master skin before the wipe! Vengeance! 

Towards the end of the Technical Alpha, I attempted to level up Nova so that I could flaunt the fancy new master skin… Unfortunately, I fell a little short of that goal! But, playing those games on Blackheart’s Bay inspired me to create my latest dish…

BLACKHEART’S DOUBLOONS!

If you’ve seen this map played, you’ll know that there are two treasure chests which spawn doubloons. These chests, especially the midlane chest, are always points of contention between the teams.

I have seen games won solely because one team completely controlled the the chests throughout the match.

When you collect enough doubloons from raiding chests or killing mercenaries, you can pay good ol’ Blackheart to bombard your opponent’s base.

However, my favorite part about this entire map is how goofy the coins are compared to the actual characters in the game. Have you seen the size of those things? They’re ridiculous!

I wanted to recreate these massive coins into something more edible and savory, which is why I chose the pasta route… I even picked up a pasta machine just for this recipe! Yep, we’re going all in on this one!

UNIT COMPOSITION

1. salt
2. pepper
3. 1 tablespoon of thyme
4. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
5. 3 sprigs of fresh sage
6. 3 tablespoons of butter
7. 2 shallots, diced
8. 4 cloves of garlic, diced
9. 1/2 cup of grated asiago cheese
10. 1/2 cup of cream
11. 1/2 cup of oyster mushrooms, diced
12. 3 eggs
13. 3 cups of flour
14. 1 cup of water
15. 1 butternut squash, cut into halves (mine was about ~2lbs)
16. OPTIONAL: parsley

As I mentioned earlier, I purchased a pasta making machine. You can get by without it by just using a rolling pin, but it will take longer to get the pasta rolled out evenly.

BUILD ORDER

Total prep time for this dish is about 1 hour. Cook time is 1.5 hours. This recipe will make roughly 6-8 servings (each serving is about 3 ravioli). You may end up with left over stuffing!

OPENING GAME

1. Pre-heat your oven to 375° F.
2. Remove the seeds* and guts from the squash.
3. Sprinkle the two butternut squash halves with salt and thyme.
4. Drizzle 1 tablespoon of olive oil over the halves.
5. Roast the butternut squash for 50 minutes or until soft. Allow the butternut squash to cool for about 15 minutes.
6. While the butternut squash is roasting, prepare the pasta sheets and the rest of the filling.

*once washed and dried, the seeds can be roasted at 375 for ~10minutes with olive oil and finished with sea salt!

MID GAME

The next few parts are extremely messy, so be prepared to clean your kitchen. You will want to have extra flour on hand in order to prevent the dough from sticking to your working area.

1. Pour your flour into a mound on a clean surface.
2. Using a measuring cup, create a impression on the top of the mound. This will the bowl for mixing the eggs.
3. Crack your 3 eggs and place them in the impression:
4. Using a fork, mix the eggs. Once the eggs have been mixed, add in the water and begin slowly incorporating the flour into the liquid to create the dough. As I mentioned earlier, this process is incredibly messy!
5. Once the dough begins to take its shape, use your hands to fold the dough in on itself. You may want to occasionally dust your surface with additional flour in order to keep the dough from sticking.
6. Cover the dough with a towel or cling wrap and allow it to rest for about 30 minutes.

LATE GAME

1. Heat 1 tablespoon of butter in a small pan.
2. Sautee your mushrooms, shallots and garlic. Remove once the vegetables have become caramelized. Set aside.
3. Once your butternut squash has cooled, scoop the meat out with spoon and place it into a bowl.
4. Mash the butternut squash until smooth. Add in your sauted vegetables, half of the cheese, and the cream. Stir until combined thoroughly. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
5. To prepare your pasta sheets, break your dough into four sections. Using a rolling pin (dusted with flour), roll your dough sections into sheets small enough to fit through your pasta machine. Dust your pasta machine with flour.
6. You will want your pasta rolled out on the 2nd thinest setting on the machine. Roll out your pasta onto a floured surface.
7. Once your pasta has rolled out, cut out circles (I used a 3″ cookie cutter, but you could also use a pint glass) in the dough. Place a tablespoon of filling onto the circle cut outs.
8. Cut out another circle and place it on top of filled piece and seal each ravioli shut by pressing down on the dough. At this point, you may want to nudge the filling to help reinforce the doubloon shape.
9. Using left over dough, cut out skull shapes to place on the ravioli. Once cut out, gently dampen each skull with water and adhere them to the ravioli. (I only made a few of the skulls because they’re a lot of work!)
10. Set a pot of water to boil and season the water with salt. Once the water boils, drop the ravioli in one at a time. The ravioli should take about 2 minutes to cook. Remove them immediately.
11. In a small pan, heat the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter. Add in your sprig of sage. While the butter is cooking, remove the milk solids (the white foamy stuff) by skimming the top of the surface with a spoon. This will create clarified butter.
12. Plate your ravioli doubloons and drizzle the sage butter sauce over them. Garnish with grated cheese, pepper, and fresh parsley.

GG WP, hero!

However, if you don’t want to serve your mateys doubloons, the ravioli looks fine without the skulls.

Since Heroes of the Storm is offline for a few days, you now have a chance to recreate these tasty treasures in your own kitchen. Hopefully I’ll see you in the Nexus once Heroes is back online!

Happy cooking!