In 1998, I was in elementary school obsessing with my friends over the latest Pokémon game. It was the latest craze sweeping the nation — a Japanese RPG with super adorable pets. At the time, I had no idea how much depth these games had. I didn’t understand the stat rolls or the concept of optimizing your team; I just wanted to collect the cool looking animals.
I had this card, but I don’t think I used it in my deck.
Rollin’ with Jolteon, Articuno, Blastoise, Mewtwo, and Pidgeot. I clearly had no idea what I was doing, but I was disillusioned into believing that I was truly a Pokémon Master. After all, I did beat that jerkface, BLUE, to earn that fancy title.
But one thing was always confusing about the entire series… How did any of the inhabitants of the Pokémon world ever get fish? Were those fish also Pokémon or are they just straight-up boring fish? Maybe we should just eat Pokémon…
I mean, c’mon… Look at this Shellder… I’m pretty sure he’d be delicious if you pan seared him!
Plus, I don’t even think Shellder rolls decent stats! You can get much better water-type Pokémon than this mollusk.